and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
