Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
