I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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