If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
