my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
