You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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