ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
