you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
