i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
