Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
