So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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