I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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