we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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