fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
