I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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