I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
