The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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