Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
