a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
