He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
