WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
