I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
