I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
