New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
