I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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