i don't like sucking hair
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
