If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
