Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
