Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
