That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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