I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
one two three fourrrrnication!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
