If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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