we have officially lost it.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
