Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you inspire me to be a worse person
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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