***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
