So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
