considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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