so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
