even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
