If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
