btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
