the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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