Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
