Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
