East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
