Screwed.edu
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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