I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
