He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
