Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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