I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
